What the crab?!

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you ." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise.[1][2] The analogy in human behavior is that members of a group will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy,[3] conspiracy or competitive feelings.

- Wikipedia entry

The reason why I am greatly attracted in working abroad other than the higher compensation is I want to get away from some Filipinos who (please note: NOT ALL) have very bad case of crab mentality. Crab mentality is also what some sociologist see as why the Philippines seem not to advance even if they are intelligent, creative, hardworking and resourceful. This sick mentality is everywhere, even if you work for a small company, a global company, in the streets or for the government (where they say it is very rampant).

When I came here in Bangkok, a Filipino helped me to be familiar with the company, the culture and a few other tips and tricks to get around. However, things did not go well as expected.

I became friends with a local who is actually has a high position in our consulting company, she’s nice so I feel comfortable to share my thoughts and opinions just about anything. Thais are very friendly, which is why the country is known as “Land of Smiles”, so this is not new. I did not know that this friend of mine shared our conversations with another Thai, who is the recruiter of our company. This recruiter on the other hand is very close to the Filipino who helped me.

As you might surmise, the recruiter shared the conversations I had with the Filipino. Please note that these conversations (mine with my Thai friend, the Thai recruiter to the Filipino) are done in English. As you know, English is not the native language of either Thais or Filipinos, some words cannot have exact translations and inevitably had the wrong impressions. To cut the long story short, the Filipino confronted me for spreading bad rumors about her. I was very surprised, and I told her straight away that this might be just issues with the translation and I have no reason to badmouth her. She said, “ I don’t know, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I know there are Filipinos who badmouth other Filipinos and I wanted to know if you are like that”. I told her what the exact conversations I had with my Thai friend. You have to understand, I am not the “cuddly/sweet” type of person so I just said, “It’s up to you who you want to believe, it’s your prerogative, what’s important to me is I told you my side of the story”.

Not surprised, she did not 100% believed me and requested to talk to my Thai friend and confront her if my version is true. My Thai friend obliged with the discussion and she confirmed my version and that the recruiter somehow “twisted” the stories. So the Filipino asked that the recruiter be present in the ongoing conversation. My friend called the recruiter, and she said that the recruiter declined and said she cannot come. You might think that the Filipino will now doubt her friend (the recruiter) but she didn’t. Though she didn’t say it directly, I can tell she still stands by the recruiter’s version.

I talked to my Thai friend and apologized for the Filipino’s actions. I honestly was very embarrassed, I feel that in this incident we showed my Thai friend how Filipinos would not hesitate to “bite at each other”, how far they are willing to do anything just to prove that this other Filipino is wrong. When my Thai friend said that, “ I know you two are friends” and the Filipino said, “we’re not friends, we just know each other from a common friend” , my friend was silent and was lost for words.