Myths on Children with Special Needs

Lack of proper awareness about children with special needs especially in a developing country like ours inevitably causes a lot of myths to be spreading around and sometimes thought to be truths or facts by many.
One of the most common myth I know is that some people think that children that are mentally retarded, with Down syndrome and autism are one are the same. I have personal experiences with this one since my child has autism, so when I tell other people that my son has autism more often than not they would say, he doesn’t look like one. I guess they always think that autistic children also share the same distinct physical characteristics that is often associated with Down syndrome.
Aside from the physical characteristics that they often generalize as to should be the same for all children with special needs, they don’t think each child as unique. So they would always assume that if they meet one child with special needs, they already know what a special needs child are as a whole.
Another myth that I am aware of is that special needs children cannot be independent, that they have to be taken care of for the rest of the their lives. That they need to have a caregiver 24X7 to attend to their needs.
After watching the videos and reading the materials in the course I know for a fact that the above myths that I stated are really just myths and DEFINITELY not facts.  Mentally retarded, kids with Down syndrome and kids with autism are NOT the same. They might seem similar at first impression (DEFINITELY not on the physical characteristics) but on their social skills or behavioral tendencies, but they differ in several aspects. Mentally retarded kids are those kids with intelligence and abilities that are below that are expected of their age, Down syndrome is a genetic disorder which causes the distinct physical characteristic to kids which has this disorder. Autism on the other hand is a disorder that affects how a child communicates, interacts with other people and adapts to his environment. I just learned however through this program that 60-75% of kids with autism are mentally retarded.
Reading through the materials I also learned that each special needs child is also unique as much as a normal child is unique from each other. So it would really be very difficult to predict their potential that is why we should never lose hope and limit them to what they were able to do yesterday, or can do today as they could possibly surpass it tomorrow.
Lastly, although as mentioned that each special child is unique some might need living assistance but not all would need 24 x7 caregiver assistance for the rest of their lives. If early and properly trained (and depending on the physical capabilities), a child with special needs can live independently or at least with minimal assistance. The important thing is we don’t limit them to what they can do. We should let them develop their potential so they can be as independent as much as they can. It may not be 100% (again for some maybe) but at least to some level they can do some things independently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hierarchy of needs for Children with Special needs

I searched the Internet for what psychologists think as the hierarchy of needs of humans and below they say is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. 

 

 

 

Of course I don’t think the needs of Special needs children differ but I think it just differs in the order. 

Below is for me the hierarchy of needs for children with Special needs: 

 

 

 

For me, the highest priority in the needs of children with special needs is belongingness and love needs. 

First and foremost, they need to be completely and unconditionally loved by their family and friends.  Their disability should be completely accepted and understood by their loved ones. I believe this need to be first and foremost be addressed before any of their other needs. 

Also, I also believe that if this is addressed properly, it would be easy to address the other needs and or the other needs will unconsciously be addressed. 

Second is self actualization, each one of them like any other human being is unique and has different potential and needs to achieve that full potential. They need to achieve that too how little it might some seem compared to other non-special needs children. 

Third is the esteem needs, the need to be able to have a feeling of prestige and accomplishment. They need to feel useful and not someone that can be ignored. 

Fourth is their safety needs. They also need to feel safe and secure.  

Lastly are the physiological or the basic needs like food and water.   

 

True prosperity

True prosperity comes when you accept our bountiful birthright and the responsibility and the power that this entails.

Think, speak and act as if you are prosperous and you will impress the Universe to send you plenty

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I Ching

So I watched Season 1 of The Man in The High Castle from my 1 week free trial subscription of Amazon Prime and was intrigued with I Ching. Since I am too lazy to study the ancient text, I found a website that can do an I Ching reading for you (http://www.ichingonline.net/). I tried it and below is an interesting reading it had for me:

Cast Hexagram:

36 - Thirty-Six

Ming I / Eclipsing the Light

Warmth and Light are swallowed by Deep Darkness:
The Superior Person shows his brilliance by keeping it veiled among the masses.

Stay true to your course, despite the visible obstacles ahead.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This time calls for a saintly effort to turn the other cheek.
You have been deliberately injured.
Going blow-for-blow will only escalate this war.
Abstain from vengeance.
Show all watching that you are above it.
Sidestep your aggressor's headlong charge, giving him the opportunity to fall on his face.

Keeping up with friends

I am not easily impressed as much as I do not easily make and keep acquaintances as friends. So when I got impressed with someone it usually is because any of the following reasons:
- you are extremely nice
- you are an independent thinker
- you don't care what people say or think about you
- you are confident but not arrogant
- you speak your mind
- you are not vain but you take good care of yourself
But when you only say those things just to impress other people or try to convince yourself, believe me, sooner or later, I will found out and I will drop you faster than a hot potato.Faster than you could ever imagine that you would not know what hit you.
Recently, I had the same exact experience with an acquaintance. She was so surprised on how fast I could change my mind that she asked around if something was wrong with me.
Initially, I was impressed with her. She rarely joins other people in the office pantry for chitchat and one time when one lady officemate teased her that she rarely joins the group, she quickly retorted, " do you have a problem with me?" . I smiled and said to myself, "Wow, that is one tough lady". But as days went by and in some twist of events we ended up spending more time together ( I actually forgot already what event triggered the two of "clicking" and eventually spending office breaks together) I realized that one incident was sort of a one in a lifetime event.


- you are extremely nice
I thought she was nice. It turns out she is not actually that nice. This is actually not the breaker for me. Unless you really are projecting an angelic or saintly persona then I am going to hate you for eternity.


- you are an independent thinker She isn't. Its okay to ask me from time to time for my opinion or what I will do. But if what you will eat for lunch or dinner depends on my mood, then we are going to have a problem. Initially, she was so proud that we don't consult each other if the other will be joining in a team activity or not but then later on, she would keep on telling me, not to join because she will not be joining. One time, she literally pulled me into a townhall meeting just because she wanted to get the free pizza.


- you don't care what people say or think about you This is one of my major deal breakers. If you become so obsessed with what other people will say or think about you, then I would definitely drop you. I don't have time for that kind of drama. We are not in high school that we have to gossip everytime the girl with the heavy makeup smirked at you or the girl who lived at a posh village actually has bad skin. Yeah, I am not perfect, I also like that kind of gossip from time to time. But if I have to hear it, every minute, everyday and you have to ask me why my status is "Busy"in the office messenger app, then you don't deserve my time.


- you are confident but not arrogant Another deal breaker. When you say that people don't have to flaunt their assets or tell other people about your accomplishments and yet when its your asset or accomplishments you proudly tell stories about it, then you need to slap your self hard.


- you speak your mind When you keep complaining to me but wouldn't tell the person concerned about it. Well, Ok, this one I am also guilty of.


- you are not vain but you take good care of yourself This one, I really really hated about her. She tells me constantly that she doesn't care about her lovelife anymore that the focus of her life is her daughter but she proudly:
     - talks about her office crush (she is separated from her husband). that she had to ask me to   observe how she behaves around him to make sure that it is not getting obvious
     - her weekend getaways with her friends and actually have the gall to tell me that she hates it when her daughter asks her if she can join them - complains that she no longer buys anything for herself
     - she uses a different shade of lipstick everyday but keeps on telling me she barely cares how she looks


So there, I don't have much demands. As long as you're honest with who you are, to me but more importantly to yourself then I wouldn't care if you are the devil's spawn.

No Space

If a cupboard is crammed full, nothing new can be put into it. If you hoard, whether it is money, clothes, ideas or old resentments, there is no space for new to come in. To allow new into your life you must let go of the old.

As soon as you throw away rubbish from your home the Law of Flow will emsure that something else takes its place. Its your choice whether you replace rubbiah with more rubbish or shift your consciousness to attract something better.

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The Law of Attention

The only thing that stops you manifesting your dreams is your doubt and fear. If you give 20% focus to what you want, you will achieve 20% of your dream. If you give 100% quality focus to the outcome that you want you will have a 100% outcome. The Law of Attention is exact.

Watch where you put your thoughts.

- Diana Cooper, A Little Light on the Spiritual Laws

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