What the crab?!

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you ." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise.[1][2] The analogy in human behavior is that members of a group will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy,[3] conspiracy or competitive feelings.

- Wikipedia entry

The reason why I am greatly attracted in working abroad other than the higher compensation is I want to get away from some Filipinos who (please note: NOT ALL) have very bad case of crab mentality. Crab mentality is also what some sociologist see as why the Philippines seem not to advance even if they are intelligent, creative, hardworking and resourceful. This sick mentality is everywhere, even if you work for a small company, a global company, in the streets or for the government (where they say it is very rampant).

When I came here in Bangkok, a Filipino helped me to be familiar with the company, the culture and a few other tips and tricks to get around. However, things did not go well as expected.

I became friends with a local who is actually has a high position in our consulting company, she’s nice so I feel comfortable to share my thoughts and opinions just about anything. Thais are very friendly, which is why the country is known as “Land of Smiles”, so this is not new. I did not know that this friend of mine shared our conversations with another Thai, who is the recruiter of our company. This recruiter on the other hand is very close to the Filipino who helped me.

As you might surmise, the recruiter shared the conversations I had with the Filipino. Please note that these conversations (mine with my Thai friend, the Thai recruiter to the Filipino) are done in English. As you know, English is not the native language of either Thais or Filipinos, some words cannot have exact translations and inevitably had the wrong impressions. To cut the long story short, the Filipino confronted me for spreading bad rumors about her. I was very surprised, and I told her straight away that this might be just issues with the translation and I have no reason to badmouth her. She said, “ I don’t know, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I know there are Filipinos who badmouth other Filipinos and I wanted to know if you are like that”. I told her what the exact conversations I had with my Thai friend. You have to understand, I am not the “cuddly/sweet” type of person so I just said, “It’s up to you who you want to believe, it’s your prerogative, what’s important to me is I told you my side of the story”.

Not surprised, she did not 100% believed me and requested to talk to my Thai friend and confront her if my version is true. My Thai friend obliged with the discussion and she confirmed my version and that the recruiter somehow “twisted” the stories. So the Filipino asked that the recruiter be present in the ongoing conversation. My friend called the recruiter, and she said that the recruiter declined and said she cannot come. You might think that the Filipino will now doubt her friend (the recruiter) but she didn’t. Though she didn’t say it directly, I can tell she still stands by the recruiter’s version.

I talked to my Thai friend and apologized for the Filipino’s actions. I honestly was very embarrassed, I feel that in this incident we showed my Thai friend how Filipinos would not hesitate to “bite at each other”, how far they are willing to do anything just to prove that this other Filipino is wrong. When my Thai friend said that, “ I know you two are friends” and the Filipino said, “we’re not friends, we just know each other from a common friend” , my friend was silent and was lost for words.

Trying hard

In the Philippines, we have a colloquial term for people who tries hard to fit to a certain group or project a certain personality but miserably fails. We call them T.H. ( trying hard).
Before having a chance to work with people of different cultures, I have always thought that Filipinos are the most T.H. culture. But then I met several people of different cultures and learn to understand that Filipinos are not the worst of the T.H. kind.
I had a manager who was very demanding and most see it as because he is an achiever that is why he expects the same from his subordinates. A colleague of mine said "he's racist". "Really?" was all I can say because I have not observed anything from him to conclude like that. And my colleague said, just observe how he treats other employees of different nationality than him.
Racism has been associated with "white" people because it was perceived that they think of themselves as the superior race. But it has never been widely associated with "colored" people.

As our project progresses, I have observed my manager's extra closeness to employees of the same nationality as his. I thought, that's okay. Filipinos do that. They actually say that Filipinos are very group oriented, always wants to join his own people. But then I noticed how he favors these employees, lenient on their deadlines, laughing with then if they mistakes, allowing them to take leaves (wherein you cannot reach them). No one complained because these people are actually nice. But when he openly embrasses other employees with the slightest mistake while he covers the mistakes of his favored people. The racist tag becomes a little true. But then you her that he makes fun of other cultures sometimes not even behind their backs or call other nationalities as a "different ethnic group". So I was left to wonder if his nationality is "superior" as he project them to be.
With some twist of fate, I ended up working at the country of that manager. And this is what I found, they speak very terrible english (even managers of MNCs, or even those who supposedly studied in the US or UK), most of their training are in their dialect because no one attends if done in English. I am not intelligent but I met some who leave me at my wits end because of their difficulty in understanding the simplest instructions but they would laugh at you when you inform them you dont understand. They eat in places flocked by flies without any hesitation. In one restaurant, we actually saw a cockroach crawling near the customer tables but all they give you is a smile if you bring it to their attention. And they make fun of other people's culture, belief and country openly as if theirs are perfect.

So, I began to appreciate Filipinos more as they are more sensitive to the feelings of other people, friendlyand helpful not only to "whites" but to almost if not everyone they met. So yes, Filipinos are T.H., trying hard to please others, to make friends, to communicate or help. But now, I realized, I will take that anytime.