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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal. We focus on littleproblems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion. A stranger, for example, might cut in front of us in traffic. Rather than let it go, and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. We play out an imaginary confrontation in our mind. Many of us might even tell someone else about the incident later on rather than simply let it go.

Why not instead simply allow the driver to have his accident somewhere else? Try to have compassion for the person and remember how painful it is to be in such an enormous hurry. This way, we can maintain our own sense of well-being and avoid taking other people's problems personally. There are many similar, "small stuff" examples that occur every day in our lives. Whether we had to wait in line, listen to unfair criticism, or do the lion's share of the work, it pays enormous dividends if we learn not to worry about little things.

So many people spend so much of their life energy "sweating the small stuff" that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you commit to working toward this goal you will find that you will have far more energy to be kinder and gentler.

From: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff by Richard Carlson, PhD

 

What day is today?

Each person has a different way of handling grief. More often than not, when a person prefers to be silent is when the pain is so unbearable or shocking that he/she has no way to express it but to keep it inside.

 

People has always been judgmental when  person appears to be unmoved or apathetic when someone died. In many crime tv series that I have watched, a spouse, a child or a parent that does not seem to be enraged when a loved one died ALWAYS becomes a top suspect.

 

My mother has always been my Achilles heel. My age is the same number of years that my mother has died. Every time that I come to my maternal relatives, I was always asked how old I am and then the next statement would always be ”I could not believe your mother has been dead for that long”. When I was young, I always fight the tears from falling down when I hear that.  But as years go by I have become used to it that it has become my own personal “treat” to myself on my birthday. When I wake up on my birthday, it has become a habit of mine to remind myself that on that day I am XX years old and my mother has been dead for XX years.

 

Today is my mother’s birthday. We have always believed that she is our personal angel that she watches over us since none of us (me and my siblings) have never gone astray in our lives. We have lived separate lives for the same XX years. I have never seen her face (except for an old picture that I saw when I was already in my 20’s) but I have always fervently wished that before I die I want to see her face, that when she shows “herself” to me that’s a sign for me that I am going to die soon (I am terribly scared of ghosts by the way). I hope she fulfills that wish.

 

I know you are in heaven right now so your happiness is already guaranteed.

 

Three Moms

I am one of those "special" ones that have more than one mother. I have 3.

My first mother was my biological mother , she died the day after giving birth to me. Never had the chance to see her face, hear her voice or feel her touch. The only thing I know about her is that she prayed so much to have a daughter after having 2 boys. And that after giving birth, she smiled when she saw me and was told that I was a girl. That was the story my father told me.

My second mother was my foster mother, she took care of me days or probably weeks ( stories from relatives are inconsistent) after my biological mother died. She took care of me and loved me for 25 years.

My third mother was actually a cousin who as far as I can remember took care of me during the times I was sick when I was young. I asked my 2nd mother why I ended up calling my cousin "mommy" and she said it's because I was always with her when I was little and she always attends to my needs when I cry.

After the hoopla on Mother's day wears off, I want thank all 3 of them for what I am now. I am not the best person right now but God knows I try to be. And I wish that somehow in some little way, I have made or can made them proud of me.

May my two moms be at peace in heaven Herminia Valentin Armado and Crisanta Armado Garcia.

May God guide and help my mommy Leonila Garcia Santiago with all her needs and worries.

[ Blind Gossip ] Is this young, pretty franchise actress racist or just insensitive and controlling?

A small group of people was gathered for a private party. When a song by a popular black artist (now deceased) came on, the actress went on a rant.

“OMG! Seriously? Seriously?! What the f*ck is this? I don’t want to listen to this disgusting ghetto music! Change it now!”

The room went silent as the rest of the guests stared at her – and at each other – shocked that she would say such a thing. The song was changed, per her demand, and the actress went back to drinking and partying. She may be pretty, but she was also pretty controlling and pretty tone-deaf to the mix of people in the room.

SOLVED!

It’s Kristen Stewart! Source: BlindGossip.com

This event occurred in a hotel room. Someone put on a song by the late Tupac Shakur, and Kristen made the unfortunate “ghetto” comment. There were a few people in the room who weren’t as pale as Kristen (is anyone?), and they found the remark offensive. Nobody challenged her on it. They just changed the music and commented on it when she left the room.

That comment might just be a footnote if it wasn’t for another recent event that touches on the same topic.

Kristen Stewart recently dropped out as the lead on a film when the male lead was changed from Ben Affleck to Will Smith. From Vulture :

Ben Affleck got too busy to do the con artist romance Focus with Kristen Stewart. Now Will Smith is assuming the Affleck role, but “Stewart fell off with the feeling that the age difference between the two would be too large a gap,” Variety reports. (Smith is 44; Affleck is 40. Stewart is 23.)

By the way, Rupert Sanders, the director with whom Stewart had an affair, is 42. So, yes, the age excuse sounded flimsy. Perhaps is was just a chemistry thing, or she changed her mind about the role.

In any case, Stewart needs to tread carefully if she wants to avoid even the appearance of insensitivity to minorities in the future. In fact, if the chatter on this one doesn’t die down soon, you can expect that she will be pushed into a project with a black costar.

Source: http://mobile.blindgossip.com/#2369

Flowers, Cold night, Life

When I was in high school, I dreaded my English subject especially during my junior year not because of the teacher (despite the fact that she announced in class that I was the bitch who hated her) but because of those activities where we have to analyze the true meaning of poems, sonnets, haikus etc. I strongly believe that whoever started this notion that ALL poets/authors have some deeper meaning in their works must be cursed for infinity.

If the work was written during a tumultuous time in history and the subject of the work touches politics or religion or some important theme/subject I would totally understand that the author would hide deeper meanings in their work as to avoid persecution, punishment or even death. But what I really hate is when you have to analyze a work when the author is just describing a garden, a field, a cold night or the tiger’s fearful stature. The last phrase fearful stature is “special” to me, because I clearly remember this as the phrase that I was once asked in class to analyze what it means. I was speechless for a few seconds and just eventually had to talk gibberish about how I would be scared if I saw a tiger.

Did it ever occur to these people that what if the author just simply wanted to describe the flowers in the garden because he was bored and can’t think of anything else to write about? That it was just really a cold night and he had to write a long poem just so he could divert his attention and forget how cold it was. Why all these should have some deep meaning or should give us to the meaning of life?

Why do people always have the insatiable need to have an explanation for or know everything? Are we all shrinks deep inside?

Awkward

I was browsing through free tv shows in Itunes when I first saw “Awkward” a tv series about a teenager’s struggle as a “nobody” in high school, I couldn’t say outcast since she has friends although not the popular ones.
I found it very funny and entertaining at first and I could imagine how teenagers might be loving it but as I watch more episodes, I realized how I wouldn’t let my daughter watch this show before she is 25 or probably 30 years old.

It was still a culture shock for me, although I already know how American teenagers lose their virginity before they even go to college. Maybe because how the characters see sex as not a serious thing, that you can just go in an abandoned area (they call it sanctuary) in your school and freely have sex or make out. I have never been to the U.S. so I wouldn’t know how far or close the show is from the truth. It’s disturbing for me how parents would actually drive their teenagers to their party knowing there would be booze or ask her daughter if she already had sex with her boyfriend.

I personally know someone, a mother who allows her sons to do things freely (smoke, drink, go out late at night and all other things teenagers are so tempted to do) right before her eyes. She tells me because she wants them to be independent and think for themselves. She doesn’t want them to rebel against her and do things against her knowledge. For some teenagers, this would be a good strategy, that when they feel the independence that they are trusted by their parents, they would value that trust and will not do anything that will harm them or their future. But not all teenagers are the same, some would take advantage of that independence and would throw caution to the wind. Sadly though, the sons of this mother that I know fall to the second kind and it breaks my heart to see her sons destroy their lives and inevitably drags their mother’s life to their mess. When I try to talk some sense to her children, they (yes, including the mother) would turn the tables on me and point out how I made mistakes during my teenage years. Like common teenagers, I also made poor judgments but as I have also told them, I learn from those mistakes and take everything as a challenge or motivation for me to do things right and succeed. And by then, I have become the melodramatic meddler in their eyes (sometimes also laughed at). So I already gave up and see it as a lost cause and no longer try to somehow help them by giving my unsolicited advice.
My kids are just 4 and 6 years old, too early to know in what kind they would fall to, the ones can be trusted with independence or the other that is a disaster waiting to happen. I am not praying for perfect kids, just for the ones who may or may not make mistakes and if they do make mistakes, they learn from those mistakes and make themselves better each time.

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