Bully

I just saw an "FB war" between 2 bloggers that I follow with one accusing the supposedly more famous one as being bully.

I just remember an incident that happened the other day. There was a "tradition" in my office that you have to treat your officemates on your birthday or at least on your birthmonth. Since the number of people has grown from less than 50 to almost 100, it then become a "by invitation". When I was new in the office, I was "bullied" into this, I did not complain since they say everyone (at least in the group)does it. I did not mind at first but when I saw how some in the group don't mind ordering a lot of food, I became pissed.
In the next dinner treats that followed I would decline the invite, and then 3 celebration dinners before my birthmonth, I was no longer invited each time. And they were doing the "invitation" discreetly. I shrugged it off thinking that they probably think she won't join anyway, why bother?
Then my birthmonth came, and then one of people in that group who shares the same birthmonth as me approached me and asked if I have any suggestions where we will treat the group. I laughed hard and barely controlling myself to blurt out "are you f*cking serious?" He did not seem to get it first because he said, "you don't have any suggestions?"
Forward to the incident, they again joined together for the celebration dinner, they did the invitation again discreetly. There are 3 things that pissed me off. One is when I caught one of them that they already sent out the invite and I was not invited, he just laughed it off. Second reason that I got pissed off is that person who laughed it off, was once ignored by that group. I would always catch him eating alone in the nearby convenience store when previously they would ask him to join. I would chat with him then when no one dared join him. Third reason is that its like their slapping me in the face, when the newest team member in my team got invited. The same team member that I warned them about to be careful about sharing comments about the other team because she is a blabbermouth.
I am sure tomorrow they will smile at me, chat and laugh with me as if we were BFFs.
Those are the kind of bullies we have today, not the old school ones who will unceasingly tease you and make fun of you in front of other people. The new breed of bullies are the ones who will pretend that they are friends with you and that they have nothing against you but one turn of your back and they are talking bad thins about you and worse planning things that would tell the other people that they are not actually friends you. I would rather have the old school bullies because you know right away that you have to stay away from them. But this new breed, they lure in, push you out then act as if nothing has changed and then if you already know their bs and you stay away from them they act as if you are the one who is at fault.

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Husband and father

Should a man stop being a husband when he becomes a father?
I understand that when a man becomes a father he changes his priorities from taking care of the wife to taking care of the kids. But does this mean that the wife should no longer be taken care of? That she should only be seen as someone who should also take care of the children, who helps provide for the children.
I am all about gender equality that a woman should not always play as the damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor. But a woman who took care of a kid for 9 months inside her own body, who risked her life giving birth should at least be "given a little something" for her effort.

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She's strong but she's exhausted

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Hypocrite

Always claims she is an introvert -when she has so many friends and always the first one to initiate a chat with them. Takes pride in saying that she loves joining her friends parties or going to the maill with them

Says that she doesn't like people taking advantage of other people's kindness. But when her boss doesn't mind her most of the time being late coming to the office, or having frequent sick leaves or going under time, she's mum about it

Often says that she doesn't care too much about her looks but always points out what is wrong with another person's looks

Acts sad that she has no more time to spend with her daughter but when her daughter asks to go with her when she goes to the mall or gatherings with her friends, she gets annoyed and tells her daughter that she will just be a nuisance

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Reminiscing MJ

https://youtu.be/T1dAQN5QcZU

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Pity party

I was beginning to wonder why she has a lot of friends (well according to her) we don't hang out outside the office and I only knew her because we were officemates so I have no way to confirm if she really has a lot of friends. She was a bore to talk to always talking about how she is too tired to get up in the morning or get out or talk to her daughter. And when she talks about her daughter its always a complaint how her daughter is asking her to buy this and that. When you try to talk to her about your life she is always too eager to interrupt to say how her story is same or worse or better than hers. Its as if you are always in a competition with her. You can't also talk to her about your husband because her face would turn so bad that you would think she ate something sour or bitter. Its because she has separated with her husband for many years now and though she always keep denying it you could tell that she is still bitter about and has not totally moved on.
Then after sometime I began to realize why she has so many friends. Or she chats with a lot of then thru social media. I think they like talking to her because she makes them feel how lucky they are. That they are lucky because their lives is not as miserable as hers. She would talk about how her friends buy her things, foods, pay for her movies, dinner etc. Then I realize somehow I did that too with her, I gave her a planner for Christmas and when I had extra cash I treated her for snacks.
So I am beginning to think that what she has are pity friendships. People feel so bad for her because she is a single parent who rents a small apartment with her parents and 1 sibling. Her husband left her for another woman which according to her own words "after I did everything. She shifted to an IT career late so she is earning less with people of her same age. She is rated poorly in her performance reviews at the office. Her male friends ( if I remember it right she had 2) proposed a booty call with her which she declined but she still remains chummy with them.
She vehemently denies it, but she likes the attention. Because when people who rarely talks to her suddenly talks to her you can her face light up. That is also why I think why men in the office like teasing her. Because she always has a twinkle in her eye when a man talks to her. I even told her that I have a hunch that the guy he has a crush probably also has a hint about her feelings. Because one tome she was telling him how her daughter's gums are infected and yet she is smiling ear to ear.
I pity her because I feel that she wants to feel special. But unfortunately I have no time for such drama.

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The grass is always greener

There is a cliche that the grass is always greener on the other side which says so much how people will never get contented with what they have.

In my previous company, people always complain of stress, having long hours at the office, barely allowed to work from home, demanding bosses and clients. Management would often comfort us that at least we have the best benefits and perks than other companies. Then people would answer in whispers that its not what matters if you barely have work-life balance to enjoy those.

In my current company, the bosses are advocates of work-life balance probably because they came from the country that is often named as the happiest country. They would allow people to go work from home even on the mundanest reasons sometimes even if you do not have a reason at all. Asking for emergency leaves are given like candies in a candy store so we know that oftentimes some just say they have an emergency at home when they need to go off work and just forgot to get approval beforehand. People can freely surf the net including social media sites even at the sight of the managers. But still you would hear people that they want to leave because of poor monetary benefits and perks.

Thus, I rest my case.

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