Trying hard

In the Philippines, we have a colloquial term for people who tries hard to fit to a certain group or project a certain personality but miserably fails. We call them T.H. ( trying hard).
Before having a chance to work with people of different cultures, I have always thought that Filipinos are the most T.H. culture. But then I met several people of different cultures and learn to understand that Filipinos are not the worst of the T.H. kind.
I had a manager who was very demanding and most see it as because he is an achiever that is why he expects the same from his subordinates. A colleague of mine said "he's racist". "Really?" was all I can say because I have not observed anything from him to conclude like that. And my colleague said, just observe how he treats other employees of different nationality than him.
Racism has been associated with "white" people because it was perceived that they think of themselves as the superior race. But it has never been widely associated with "colored" people.

As our project progresses, I have observed my manager's extra closeness to employees of the same nationality as his. I thought, that's okay. Filipinos do that. They actually say that Filipinos are very group oriented, always wants to join his own people. But then I noticed how he favors these employees, lenient on their deadlines, laughing with then if they mistakes, allowing them to take leaves (wherein you cannot reach them). No one complained because these people are actually nice. But when he openly embrasses other employees with the slightest mistake while he covers the mistakes of his favored people. The racist tag becomes a little true. But then you her that he makes fun of other cultures sometimes not even behind their backs or call other nationalities as a "different ethnic group". So I was left to wonder if his nationality is "superior" as he project them to be.
With some twist of fate, I ended up working at the country of that manager. And this is what I found, they speak very terrible english (even managers of MNCs, or even those who supposedly studied in the US or UK), most of their training are in their dialect because no one attends if done in English. I am not intelligent but I met some who leave me at my wits end because of their difficulty in understanding the simplest instructions but they would laugh at you when you inform them you dont understand. They eat in places flocked by flies without any hesitation. In one restaurant, we actually saw a cockroach crawling near the customer tables but all they give you is a smile if you bring it to their attention. And they make fun of other people's culture, belief and country openly as if theirs are perfect.

So, I began to appreciate Filipinos more as they are more sensitive to the feelings of other people, friendlyand helpful not only to "whites" but to almost if not everyone they met. So yes, Filipinos are T.H., trying hard to please others, to make friends, to communicate or help. But now, I realized, I will take that anytime.

Sale!!!

Everyone loves shopping sale or promotions. Especially women, sometimes we even end up buying things we don't need just because its on sale. Oftentimes too, we no longer evaluate if the product is worth the price and become completely blinded by the note in the tag price which says "70% off".
I had an economics teacher in college who told us once in our class not to be fooled by "sale"or "promotion" items. She said that most of the items that are on sale with tags as high as 70-80% off are actually being sold at the same price during off sale season and sometimes higher than its regular price. She knows this because she once worked for a department store and know the said practice. At that time that she revealed this to us, although I believed her, I did not take it very seriously thinking to myself "maybe because that department store is not upscale and barely anyone notices their regular prices so they try to resort to such dirty tactics".
In the Philippines, I have not personally observed or noticed such tactic. But sometimes and when I say sometimes it means 2 out of 10 instances, I evaluate the items if they are worth the price or the sale price is suspicious. I was reading the blog Fashion Pulis, and one of his readers shared an incident in a popular mall when she noticed that the sale price is higher than the regular price. Yes, she noticed because she tried to peel off the sale price to see what was the tag price before it supposedly went on sale. When she confronted the saleslady and eventually the store supervisor explained to her that it was just a case of mistagging. Hmmm.. Okay...
Here in Bangkok, sales or as they promotions are overflowing which is obviously why many tourists consider the city a shopping haven. Of course there is always the inevitable different price if you're a foreigner which admittedly happens in other countries too. But there's something strange that I observe when checking out items on sale. One time, I was checking items that are being sold in the streets, the sign says" Buy 1 29 baht, buy 2 59 baht. I had to read the sign more than twice to check if I was reading it correctly, then I have to check my math 29x2 = 58. Okay, so instead of getting a bigger discount for buyinh more you actually get robbed of an extra 1 baht. At least the vendor did not try to hide her tactic, its just for you to detect it.

At the grocery in a shopping mall in siam, I once saw dishwashing liquids grouped into 3. The marks are in thai ( so I maybe wrong here) but I assumed it says buy the 3 items to save. So I checked the price of a single item, 28 baht and the bundled items 84 baht. I had to call my husband to check my math and we eventually ended up doing math in the air. And yes, 28x3=84.

Moral lesson: Dont be an impulse buyer, check the price and not how much "discount" you're supposedly getting. Because you might actually be robbing yourself instead of saving.

Salem Falls by Jodi Picoult - a review

I have read 3 other Jodi Picoult's books (Sing you home, House Rules and Picture Perfect). And this is the one I disliked the most.
Its a story of a man who was wrongly accused of statutory rape and because he was ill advised by his lawyer, pleaded guilty to avoid the gruelling court proceedings and long jail term. When his prison sentence ended and went to Salem Falls to start a new life, he did not expect that his past will haunt him and quite predictably been accused once again with rape.
The plot for me is too common nowadays. Maybe that is why Jodi chose this storyline for its social relevance. When a teenage girl got attracted to him, I sighed because i knew what the next events will be. He will try his best to avoid the girl while the girl on the other hand will do anything and everything to catch his attention. And eventually an accident/incident will happen between them and because of possible humiliation and yes, fear of the parents' wrath, the girl accuses him of rape. And the all too familiar issues on:
- should you trust a man who once been convicted of a crime?
- that a girl would never lie being raped
- that a girl gets raped because she's a slut
- that teenagers always hide something from his/her parents

I am also discontented on how she did not tell on what or how the jury members discussed before coming up with their decision. The surprising no further discussion on "witch craft" in the end when it has been discussed quite extensively in the previous parts of the story. Which reminds me of how somehow I felt left hanging in "Picture Perfect" what Flying horse's dream or visions are all about.

I don't know if I have been watching too much Law & Order SVU or Criminal minds epsiodes which made this novel too bland for my reading taste.

myLot User Profile

Gone Girl - a review

I don’t like when critics or book reviewer’s give spoliers on the plot or sometimes the climax or even the conclusion of the book. I feel like, “yeah I know that the correct way of doing a movie/book review” but those things are appreciated by your teacher/professor when grading your paper. Not for enthusiasts who just wanted to check how others liked the movie/book before actually spending a dime for it. So I will try to review a book without giving out the entire plot, climax and conclusion of the book.


When I registered for an audible account, I saw this book – Gone Girl in New York Times bestseller. In terms of books, I am a “fashionista” in a sense that I want to see what’s hot and try it. This is one of the few things that I am not ashamed to go with the what’s “in”. So okay, its not a book, an audiobook that I bought, initially I got bored (yes, bored listening) because the structure of the book is that the two main (Amy and Nick) characters alternate presenting their own versions of what happened. But when I got to Part 2 (of the audiobook) it got interesting. I loved the suspense rising up minute after minute. I began to anticipate what Amy has to say on the version of what happened. The story became very real to me, because as they say there are always two sides of a coin. I loved how Nick got caught up on his wife’s (Amy) web of lies and there seems to be no hope of him being vindicated or the truth coming out. I began to hate the lawyer who wasn’t of no help at all, of the policemen/detectives who thinks its good police work to find obvious evidence. And most of all, I hated Amy, I felt the hurt and frustration that Nick felt when Amy seemed to be winning most of the time.

However, I didn’t like the ending of the book it was very anticlimactic, it was a letdown for me. Its like lining up for free ice cream and when its your turn the only flavor left is vanilla. I feel that the book is begging to have a sequel. I don’t know if the author has that plan all along or Book 2 is already in the works.

I would love to see this made into a movie. However, as I am not a big Hollywood fan I am struggling to think of the perfect actors to play Amy and Nick. Well, these are the qualities I think the actors should have:

Amy – someone beautiful but still has the homely charisma.
Nick – someone proud/strong looking with a slight “player” aura


I know it didn’t said much but I highly recommend the book, it is literally something that you would find difficult to put down.

So what do you want to do? Read, listen or watch?

I can’t remember where I once saw this question “ Can listening to audiobooks be considered as reading?” Sorry as much as I want to quote the source, I really can’t remember which website I came across. Anyway, I did not read the responses or discussion so there’s not much use quoting it.
Lately, I have enjoyed listening to audiobooks rather than reading the book or novel itself. The reasons are I am among those people who:
- Falls asleep when reading for a long time
- Wants to do something at the same time (ex. Working while listening)
- has short attention span, that when I don’t understand or get bored for more than 5 minutes, you would lose me
- don’t want to carry a bulky book everywhere

This reason which I try to convince myself is the primary reason is: it makes me feel more connected to the story thus enjoying it more.

I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with listening than reading the book as much as there is nothing wrong if you rather want to read at your own pace. But obviously that question was posted or raised by someone who would rather read the book than listen to it. I cannot understand why it would be an issue if you would listen to the audiobook. When we were young, most if not all of us grew up with someone ( mother/father, nanny, granny, sister, sitter etc) reading a story or simply listening to a fascinating story being told to us.

However, I believe watching the film version of a novel is a different thing. Since movies are usually around 1.5-2.5 hrs long only, it just shows the most important parts missing all the details and oftentimes present a different ending. That is why most novel readers get disappointed when they watch the film version.
The only advantage of film versions is that you see in your eyes the scenes, characters or settings that you have only imagined while you were reading. But unfortunately, sometimes some of this details are also not included in the movie. I remembered a friend who once told me that the reason why she is excited to see this specific film is she wanted to see the dress being described as the one worn by the female character. And yes, she was disappointed, because in the film, it was not the cutesy dress she imagined. Probably because who would think that someone will watch the movie just to check out the character’s costumes.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t totally dislike film versions. I am also like many others who get excited to see the novel I once read/listened to being unraveled before my eyes. Although of course, I sometimes end up disappointed or feel that something is lacking from the movie.

There is one film version that I liked although many of the reviews are not so positive because they said the film lack the elegance and beauty of the novel itself. This film is “ Love in the time of cholera”. This novel I have read and because Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel are so beautiful that I get lost with the words. Maybe that’s the reason I liked it *smiles*. It helps me understand the “big words” and yes I read the translated (English) version. I read this entry from Wikipedia : “His works have achieved significant critical acclaim and widespread commercial success, most notably for popularizing a literary style labeled as magic realism, which uses magical elements and events in otherwise ordinary and realistic situations.” That I guess is the beauty that is lost in the film, you can barely feel it there. But the movie made me appreciate the novel even more as the characters and the expression of their love for each other unraveled before me.

I guess since each one of us has different tastes and let’s admit, different levels of intelligence which is why we have different preferences on how to enjoy a story, some want to read it on their own at their own pace, some want to listen, hearing the words as if just eavesdropping on a conversation and some wants just to see the important events and don’t mind missing the details.

But one thing I know is for sure, we are all interested with stories other than our own. Again for reasons that are entirely different for each person.

The calling

I have read and heard from others that if you do something you want or enjoy what you are doing, you never have to work for single day of your life. Hmmm.. sounds reasonable. So what I have to find out now is what I want to do.
As a kid, I have always loved reading and writing. I can’t remember exactly remember at what age I have started on writing a personal diary but it sure was before my teens.

I can vaguely remember what I used as a diary, is it an old school notebook, yellow ruled paper or unused pads of receipts. What I do remember is I have always loved writing my thoughts down. It’s as if I would forgot them as they pass through my mind. It hasn’t always been a day-to-day journal. I usually right on it when I was scolded and feel that I was done injustice. You know how kids are, every little thing that happens against their wishes is an injustice for them. I also write my dreams and aspirations. I remembered one time, I was preparing a layout for my own newspaper. Of course I was the writer of every article, news or opinion column.

When I was in high school, I remembered trying to write a romance “novel” about my infatuation for a boy band that was extremely popular during my teens. I couldn’t imagine what my mother thought about what’s happening to me when she read it. She always reads what I write even if I try to hide them. I am have never been proud of my writing and oftentimes I am not comfortable when others read it. I feel like the reader is looking into my soul through my written words. Because every time I write anything even if it is a business email reply to a user, I always feel that I put a part of my personality in it. A part of my soul.

I always have an opinion of other’s writing style, even of how good the author is, I always have a different twist or ending of the story of my own. Which leads me to wonder.. will I ever be a writer? Or an author of something so beautiful that other’s would say “I like how she writes”.


But I am a great fan of authors who have great imagination and who takes time to do research on the settings of their story, either that or they have lived in that setting for quite some time to remember it quite vividly. That’s why I have great respect for J.K. Rowling on how amazingly good the Harry Potter series is. Truth of the matter is I have never literally read her books, except for ironically, the first and the last one. The others I “heard” the audiobooks or just watched the film version istead but I don’t think that would disqualify me as a fan. Because although I have only read 2 of her books, I can get totally “lost” in her imagination. She makes you really feel that you are there and everything she is saying is real. That I do not need a feel good love or romantic subplot to get my readers hooked.

That is why I am not confident of how I write even if its fictional, I feel that I still could not make the reader “lost” in my story, it’s if the story is their own, as if they are my characters. And when that happens, is when I could say I found my very own "the calling".